So, I just need to get this off my chest. Christopher started attending a new summer camp this year. I won’t name the camp as I am very happy with them where Christopher is concerned. BUT… after dropping Christopher off there every day for the last couple of weeks, Jacob became very interested and started asking if he could attend. I spoke with the director and told her all about Jacob. She had me fill out some paperwork explaining the issues Jacob has and how we deal with them. They agreed to give him a trial day for camp.

Jim and I decided it might be best if Jacob’s first day was only a half day so I took him in at lunch time. I had a nice long talk with Jacob that morning at home and we talked more in the car on the way. I kept reminding him that he can do anything he sets his mind to and that he can have a really good time at camp if he wants. Our usual plan of action with Jacob is, if he is somewhere and finds it’s too loud, we find him a quiet spot. It seems to be working so far. However, I made sure to explain to him that he might not be able to have a quiet spot at camp as he cannot leave his counselors. He understood and said, “I promise I won’t walk away from my counselors and I know I have to follow directions.”  We talked about other alternatives. I told him, “If you get overwhelmed and it seems too loud you have a couple of options. You can try to take a few deep breaths and see if you can calm down. Once you’ve done that, if you still don’t feel safe, all you have to do is tell the counselor that you want them to call Mommy. I will come and get you right away.” Jacob said he thought that was a good idea.

He walked into the classroom where all the other kids were eating lunch and he looked around smiling. He did, however, almost immediately plug his ears and sort of scrunch down a bit, in protective mode. I kneeled down on the floor in front of him and said, “Remember what we talked about in the car? What is the first thing you need to do to try to calm down?” He looked at me and took two deep breaths. He smiled and said, “Thanks, Mommy. I feel better now.” He took his fingers out of his ears and sat down and opened his lunch box. I watched for a couple more minutes and then I left.

I didn’t get a phone call until just a few minutes before pick up. The director called to tell me that she thought it was too stimulating for him. When I arrived at camp a few minutes later, Jacob was up in her office and they brought him down to me. He was smiling. I spoke with the head counselor and she said, “I think he could do really well next year but he’s still just not ready yet.” I asked for details and this is what she said to me; “Jacob did really well. He follows directions extremely well and seemed to have a really good time today. It was really only during the transition from one activity to the next that he had a bit of difficulty. But, once we got through the transition, he did really well and enjoyed each activity.” I asked, “How long did each transition take?” Her response; “About 5 to 7 minutes but that was 5 to 7 minutes that another child was being ignored.” I didn’t argue since it isn’t a special needs camp but, by the time I got back to my car, I was angry. 5 to 7 minutes and you tell me that is not do-able? What made me even angrier is that the first words out of Jacob’s mouth once we got in the car were, “Mommy! I had so much fun! I get to come back tomorrow too, right?”

I talked to Jim last night and decided to call the director again this morning to ask her if she could give him another chance. Maybe they were making that call just a bit too soon. Doesn’t it take most kids at least one day of camp to adjust? Shouldn’t he have been given another chance to prove he could do it? Jacob woke up this morning and the first words out of his mouth were, “I get to go to Camp again today!” So, I called the Director but sadly, the answer was no. I am trying very hard not to be bitter about this. It does seem like a very nice camp but, when I had to tell Jacob today that he couldn’t go back and tears welled up in his eyes and he said, “But, Mommy, I did so good yesterday” I’m having a very difficult time being forgiving and understanding.

He only cried for a moment and he accepted it. I assured him that he did better than good that he did great at camp. I took him out to lunch and then we got ice cream. He had a great time with me today and hasn’t mentioned it since. He has moved on… I’m having more difficulty doing that. I guess I could learn a lot from my 5 year old autistic son. I just feel he was cheated out of knowing he succeeded in stepping outside of his comfort zone. I don’t know if I can forgive that.