I remember when I found out my Aunt Julie was going to have a baby. She was the first pregnant woman I had ever spent time with and I was fascinated. I would sit at the kitchen table at my grandma’s house, listening to Julie talk about the baby and everything she was experiencing and watching her as the months went by. I was so excited to have a new cousin. I had never been around babies before Chaz and I fell in love with him the first time I met him. He set the groundwork for how I would feel about all my future cousins and nephews and niece.

After Chaz was born I would go to my grandma’s just waiting for my Uncle Charlie and Aunt Julie to come over with him. I remember sitting on the living room floor next to Pawpaw’s chair, Chaz lying on a blanket on the floor and I could just watch him for hours. In one of those visits Pawpaw said to me, “Shelly, I believe you’re gonna stare a hole through that baby you’re looking at him so much.”

The first time Julie let me take him to the park I was so jazzed. I carried him on my back all the way there and he ran that little mouth the whole way, giggling and talking about everything. I loved making him smile and I loved running into my friends and getting to show him off a bit.

When I was in college, Chaz was one of my regular visitors, stopping by just for the hell of it. No reason, he just wanted to hang out with me. My sister, Amy, and I used to laugh and say that he would be the one to have to take care of us when we got old. His reply was always, “I’ll take care of both of you and I’ll love every minute of it.”

I have spent many hours laughing with him but he has also been there with me through some tough times. I have poured my heart out to him on many alcohol fueled evenings and he has never judged me. He always listened with an open mind and an open heart and all the hugs I needed. And, who else could I count on to show up at my apartment to scare the shit out of me, pounding on my door and announcing “It’s Reagan!” after I had just watched “The Exorcist” at the theater?

Chaz you are like the little brother I never had and I love you with all my heart. I miss getting to spend time with you but I cherish all those memories we have. I wish you the happiest of birthdays, my sweet cousin!  You deserve the best!