Let me say it again; my son is autistic. Is there a reason his special education teachers don’t seem to understand this?

The behavior chart. Ok, great idea. I have no problem with this. If they respect themselves and respect others, they get a coin stamp at the end of the day. In the beginning of the school year Jacob got a stamp every day. Sometime in November, that started to change. He started getting a little aggressive. It usually happened if he did not get his way or if someone was doing something he didn’t like. We had some issues where other kids were teasing him and he yelled at them, telling them they were wicked. There was another time when another student tried to get on his computer while he was still working so Jacob shoved him. Now, I’m not saying that hitting or shoving someone is alright but, I can understand why he would get angry. So, yes, let’s put some kind of plan in place to help him deal with these situations appropriately. (Although, are you also putting a plan in place for those that were being unkind to him in the first place?)

So, they started a new behavior chart for Jacob. Along with the coin stamp system he gets another chart where there is a wizard on one side of the page and there are about 10 circles leading to the castle on the other side of the page. If he gets to color in each circle by the end of the day he earns a ticket. At the end of the week, depending on how many tickets he has earned he gets his choice of reward.

Now, let me state again, this is a behavior chart. I would also point out that, since putting this system in place, he has come home with all his circles colored in except for one day. His behavior has improved tremendously and he has been very proud of himself for having kind words and kind hands. He cannot wait for me to look at his folder now when he gets home from school.

At his IEP meeting a couple of weeks ago, I told everyone present that my main concern for Jacob is that he seems to be lost in himself  a lot more often these days. This has been happening since about November as well. His teachers kept telling me, “He’s just adjusting to Kindergarten.” By March, he should be adjusted. I stressed again and again at the IEP meeting that this is still a major concern for us.  When he is trying to do his work he has a very difficult time concentrating and ends up staring off into space, completely lost in his own world. “He is lost in himself and it terrifies me and breaks my heart,” is what I said to them. Everyone FINALLY agreed with me and decided they would start putting a plan in place to help him with this.

Yesterday, however, one of his teachers wrote on his behavior chart, “Did not get any of his work done in my center today.” I wrote a note back yesterday asking them to tell me why he didn’t get “any of his work done.” Was it because he was misbehaving or because he just couldn’t seem to concentrate? Because, again, if he couldn’t concentrate that is not misbehaving. He needs help when this is happening.  The response I got today, “As I previously noted, he was prompted many, many times to do his writing assignment but he just sits and seems to be in his own world, talking to himself and looking around the table.”  THIS IS NOT A BEHAVIOR ISSUE!!  Good Lord! You people are supposed to be special educators!  How do you not get this??

I am usually the quiet people pleaser that does everything I can to avoid conflict or rocking the boat. Well, this boat has been rocked full tilt and I am no longer comfortable in my comfort zone.  I am the only advocate he has. I will not stand by and watch this happen. I cannot. I’m about to rock a boat.