I am not one to usually complain about the weather. I don’t mind rainy days and I don’t mind snow, usually. But this week has been so nice and sunny! It’s so much easier when it’s sunny because my boys love to play outside. We have been lucky and been able to spend several days at the park this week. So, when I woke up this morning and saw all this wet and soggy snow, I was really disappointed. Fortunately, both my boys woke up in happy moods so I was able to swing my mood around, too.

I was sort of dreading them coming home from school, however, because I knew they were going to want to play outside and I just don’t have another mud day in me! It’s wet and soggy and my boys don’t just play when it’s wet, they basically swim in mud. I did not feel like spending tomorrow morning scrubbing mud off of shoes again and I was dreading the five minute argument I was going to have while standing in the rain, begging the boys to go inside.

But, I’m happy to say that Jacob got off the bus smiling from ear to ear, happy to see me. He couldn’t wait for me to look in his folder. Two minutes later, Bean’s bus pulled up and out skips Christopher. First thing he said was, “Mom, look in my folder!” They were so excited about those folders they didn’t even mention playing outside or going to the park. We get in the house and I open up Christopher’s folder and there’s a big smiley face from Miss Lizzie! He looked up and said, “I was in green all day today, Mom!” Jacob then said, “Mom, you have to look in my folder, too!” A nice big coin stamp and a note from his teacher saying what a great day he had! They were both so happy!!

What a great way to start my weekend!! I love Friday afternoons like this!

Let me say it again; my son is autistic. Is there a reason his special education teachers don’t seem to understand this?

The behavior chart. Ok, great idea. I have no problem with this. If they respect themselves and respect others, they get a coin stamp at the end of the day. In the beginning of the school year Jacob got a stamp every day. Sometime in November, that started to change. He started getting a little aggressive. It usually happened if he did not get his way or if someone was doing something he didn’t like. We had some issues where other kids were teasing him and he yelled at them, telling them they were wicked. There was another time when another student tried to get on his computer while he was still working so Jacob shoved him. Now, I’m not saying that hitting or shoving someone is alright but, I can understand why he would get angry. So, yes, let’s put some kind of plan in place to help him deal with these situations appropriately. (Although, are you also putting a plan in place for those that were being unkind to him in the first place?)

So, they started a new behavior chart for Jacob. Along with the coin stamp system he gets another chart where there is a wizard on one side of the page and there are about 10 circles leading to the castle on the other side of the page. If he gets to color in each circle by the end of the day he earns a ticket. At the end of the week, depending on how many tickets he has earned he gets his choice of reward.

Now, let me state again, this is a behavior chart. I would also point out that, since putting this system in place, he has come home with all his circles colored in except for one day. His behavior has improved tremendously and he has been very proud of himself for having kind words and kind hands. He cannot wait for me to look at his folder now when he gets home from school.

At his IEP meeting a couple of weeks ago, I told everyone present that my main concern for Jacob is that he seems to be lost in himself  a lot more often these days. This has been happening since about November as well. His teachers kept telling me, “He’s just adjusting to Kindergarten.” By March, he should be adjusted. I stressed again and again at the IEP meeting that this is still a major concern for us.  When he is trying to do his work he has a very difficult time concentrating and ends up staring off into space, completely lost in his own world. “He is lost in himself and it terrifies me and breaks my heart,” is what I said to them. Everyone FINALLY agreed with me and decided they would start putting a plan in place to help him with this.

Yesterday, however, one of his teachers wrote on his behavior chart, “Did not get any of his work done in my center today.” I wrote a note back yesterday asking them to tell me why he didn’t get “any of his work done.” Was it because he was misbehaving or because he just couldn’t seem to concentrate? Because, again, if he couldn’t concentrate that is not misbehaving. He needs help when this is happening.  The response I got today, “As I previously noted, he was prompted many, many times to do his writing assignment but he just sits and seems to be in his own world, talking to himself and looking around the table.”  THIS IS NOT A BEHAVIOR ISSUE!!  Good Lord! You people are supposed to be special educators!  How do you not get this??

I am usually the quiet people pleaser that does everything I can to avoid conflict or rocking the boat. Well, this boat has been rocked full tilt and I am no longer comfortable in my comfort zone.  I am the only advocate he has. I will not stand by and watch this happen. I cannot. I’m about to rock a boat.

I have to rant. Sorry, but I feel the need. My son is autistic. Because of this, I will read just about any article I can get my hands on that has to do with autism and how we can make a difference in his life. I know, I’m supposed to embrace his autism and blah, blah, blah. Judge me if you will but if I can find something, anything that will make his life easier, I’m going to do it. So, I read. A lot.

Sometimes, I get lucky and find an article that gives really good, honest advice. There is no “cure all,” I know that. But, again, whatever will help make the smallest difference I’m willing to at least look into. What drives me insane are these articles with leading titles like, “Music Therapy that will help your child,” or “Foods that can boost the brain power of your autistic child,” and I get sucked in only to find it is some long winded jackass, taking advantage of those desperate parents looking for help. I listened to this stupid “free online presentation of how music therapy can help your autistic child, just listen and I’ll explain what tempos work best and which ones don’t” for about 15 minutes, only to find that, after this jerk rambled on and on and on and on about his degree from Juilliard, that he was selling his “helpful DVD’s for only $975.00.” So, I got sucked in, while my husband, who worked all day, made dinner so I could listen to this. I waited all afternoon for Jim to come home to listen to this for this disappointment.

You either have something helpful to contribute or you are trying to sell something. Get to the freaking point. I know, my own fault. I should have known after the first five minutes that it was crap. But, desperate times call for desperate measures.  I was hoping, since I love music so much and it’s been such a big part of my life, that I would find a little piece of advice on how I might be able to use it to help my son.

Sorry, most days, I try to stay fairly positive. But, it breaks my heart to think of all the parents desperate for help only to be taken advantage of by someone trying to make a buck.